Hold That ______

Fourth of April – fourth day of the Poem-a-Day challenge! The prompt was to write a poem beginning “Hold That ___.” The result is below.

Hold That Moment

A habit I’ve gotten into,
holding a moment in my mind,
has proven helpful in my life.
As a child, when I felt wronged or
tormented or blissful, even,
I would tell myself to never
forget that moment, nor ever
forget the wild intensity,
or the joy, or the anguish in
-herent in a moment, but to keep
each memory alive, not for
revenge or some shallow reason,
but so I would remember when
I had kids of my own, just how
something felt to me. I made it
a mission of sorts, this learned em
-pathy. I made it a habit,
too, and as a teen, and later
as an adult, the ghost of the
memories would haunt me, not in
a scary, bad way, but in an
“Oh-yes,-I-remember-how-this
-feels” way that has stood me in good
stead. I tell you this, not to oh
-verly praise myself, but to oh
-pen an idea in your mind,
a notion that might someday make
all the difference.

Have a Heart

Have a Heart

No matter how exercized people may get about the state of politics, religion, or world affairs, it seems to me that the world ticks along regardless of the hubbub.

For example, my brother and his gorgeous wife adopted a two year old and T and I attended a “welcome home” party for the little guy. It was fun–not an actual birth, no, but just as amazing. He is such a cutie, and his new mommy and daddy are as enamored of him as he is of them. It was nice to see my brother and his family, and my sister also came, so we got to see her and her family. There was food, and a slip-and-slide. Hilarity ensued.

And at the same time, my brother-in-law, T’s brother, who has been fighting pancreatic cancer for over two years, has finally been sent to out-of-home hospice care. His poor, dear, wife can’t manage his care by herself anymore, bless her. My heart breaks for her, but really, all she wants right now is to sleep; she is exhausted.

And what do all of these people really care about what is happening on the other side of the world, or the other side of the country, or the other side of the block, for that matter. What is important are the connections they have in their hearts, in their homes, with other people, people they love.

Sometimes, it is necessary to take a step back from the insanity and anger and outrage out in the world, and just breathe in and out. Just hug someone you love. Just be at peace in your home, and bake a pie for someone. Or take flowers to a neighbor. Or help a homeless pet.

It’s the little things, people. Those are the important things.

Bubbles

Wednesday Poetry – Straight Line – “Patterns”

The prompt today was straight line – or line – and so I thought about the endless line you make with a Spirograph. It’s all terribly mathematical if you look at things that way, but as a kid, it was just something fun to do until you ran out of paper or ink.

Patterns

Spirograph

In one long line, my Spirograph
would let me make pictures
of eternal
spirally
mathematical
beauty.

I could play for hours
with just my pen
and paper
and the little pins
that held the Spirograph
parts to the board
and I would try to be
as perfect
as possible
to make the beginning
of the line
match up
to the end.

As time went by,
I would try
different ink colors

Two colors, two patterns

and would put
several patterns
in one.
I soon learned that
too much effort
often resulted in
an unruly mess.

Just so
with our lives
we focus on each moment,
each achievement,
hoping that
by the end
we will see
beauty
rather than a
tangled mess.

Various designs

Here’s hoping our
beginnings
meet up
with our
ends.

 

Circles and Change

The only thing one can really count on in life is change. Things always change. The small town you grew up in grows and becomes unrecognizable — the meaning behind that saying about never being able to go home, I think. The home you knew is gone, and will never be back. It’s sad at times, the change, because we say goodbye to people and things and places, and the only place they remain is in our hearts and memories.

Siblings, though they may grow up with the same parents, have different childhoods. Johnny, born first, knows his parents when they were younger, more vulnerable, less sure of what they were doing. For years, maybe, he is the only child, but if a sibling comes along, then things change. And that sibling has the benefit of the parents’ experiences and they’re older as well, he has an older sibling. So his childhood, though similar, is different than Johnny’s.

Children grow up. Parents grow older. Often, the children end up with the responsibility of caring for their aging parents, as they care for their own children, and so it goes, on and on, in millions of families all over the world.

If you look at birth and death as the same point on a circle, everyone is in a different place and time in the cycle and circle of their life. The circles interconnect with other circles, some are added, some break away and are gone, either because they leave their family circle, or they have died.

Sometimes you see people who are solitary, with only one or two brushes with others, single circles going it alone.

Sometimes you see people with so many circles interconnected with theirs, you wonder how they function at all.

Most of us are in the middle somewhere, with a number of interconnected relationships with family and friends as close as family. Coworkers and people you only know for a while, or some you learn to love late, but lose too soon. People that bounce away, and you wonder where they went and what they’re doing. Sometimes they come back into your life later and it’s even more fun than it was before.

There are births and deaths. Love, happiness, sickness, and sorrow, joy and grief, often at the same time. One has a new child, but a loved one passes. One finally finds a career they love, but their children leave home, leaving a gap there.

Rarely is every aspect of a life full and complete and happy, yet we can still say we are “happy.” Often, we suffer tribulation in every area of our life at the same time, and it feels like the universe is against us, but it’s not. We’re just at that point in many of the cycles of up and down, back and forth. But no matter how bad it gets, it rarely stays bad. The Wheel turns and life goes on and things will always change. If one knows this, it makes hard times easier to bear, and tempers good times with the knowledge that one should appreciate them, because change always comes again.

Maybe I’m feeling so introspective today because of things in my life that are happening – my brother-in-law is very ill. He’s got stage 4 pancreatic cancer. Over two years ago the doctors gave him 6 months to a year. But he’s stubborn. He’s tough. It’s been good to spend the time we want with him.

But he’s been put into hospice this week. So we’re getting ready to say goodbye, and it’s so tough, especially for T, since it’s his brother and best friend. I keep telling myself that this is a down spiral just now and that it will be good again.

And yesterday, I got a letter from my youngest son, halfway through basic training. And so you see, part of me rejoices that he is doing well and going forward, growing up, learning and full of life, and the other part of me is sad with the loss of a loved family member. Life is always this way, though. Someone you love may pass, and then you meet the love of your life, or a new family member is born, or something else, good or difficult, life always moves on and the change is always inevitable.

So we must be brave in adversity and smile with joy when there is joy. And try not to feel bad for being happy and sad at the same time. When I finally pass on, I don’t want people to be committed to sadness, I want them to go on, be happy, live their lives, full of joy and sorrow and always, always change.