Traffic School & Dead Bodies

I went to traffic school Wednesday, and before you jump to any conclusions as to my driving habits, let me say that I am a very safe driver and that this is the first speeding ticket I’ve ever gotten. I generally stick to the speed limit, do not tailgate, and signal for all turns. BUT I did get caught by a traffic camera, and though I work for lawyers who could have probably gotten me out of the ticket, it seemed like the right thing to do was to say, “Yes, I’ve sped. You caught me. Let me pay my fine like a responsible adult.” So rather than take points on my license, (I had no idea that was even a real thing by the way, I think the only time I’d ever heard that was on the movie “The Fifth Element”) I decided to go to traffic school.

It was 4 and 1/2 hours I’ll never get back. And though the police officer who taught the class (Officer Goodman) was very informative and though he tried to make it interesting, as St. Ignatius said: The safest and most suitable form of penance seems to be that which causes pain in the flesh but does not penetrate to the bones, that is, which causes suffering but not sickness.

So, having suffered and felt pain in the flesh (of my rear sitting on the hard chairs) I will go and speed no more.

But wait, you may ask, did you learn anything?

Well, interestingly, I sort of did. For instance, Officer Goodman was saying that last week two of his officers had found only two bodies in trunks of cars. I gasped, “You mean that’s a real thing?” And he laughed and explained that there are about 300 murders in the Phoenix Metro area each year (not bad for over 6 million people, I suppose) and that the killers often feel that they have to do SOMETHING with the bodies, so pop them in the trunk to take them someplace else to dump.

Can you imagine getting stopped on the freeway when you have an ACTUAL BODY IN THE TRUNK!?!?

Officer Goodman went on to say that the reason he told us that was to point out that you just don’t know the person in the other car driving next to you. They may be just like me or you on their commute, listening to a little Pink Floyd or Kenny Chesney, or they could be someone calming driving to the industrial park with a dead body.

Just another day in the city, people.

Where are you when I need you, Sgt. Friday?


14 thoughts on “Traffic School & Dead Bodies

    • Actually, I admit to being the teeniest bit delighted, not because someone died, but because I had put someone in a trunk in one of my stories and it turns out to be perfectly practical to the criminal mind. I had thought I was being too cheesy. LOL

    • I know, right! Something the officer did not bring up, but that I was thinking about later: We don’t know the history of anyone else on the road, and yet, we trust them implicitly—trust them not to run the red light or drive out of their lane of traffic or use their signals and keep their cars in a safe condition. This is kind of mind boggling when you think about it. ^_^

    • The cop laughed at me. He did say people have to do SOMETHING with the body and that means it has to go somewhere in some sort of vehicle…Makes sense, but I hadn’t really thought about actual bodies in trunks in real life!! LOL

  1. Good point about how we have a tendency to trust the person in the next lane. I am fascinated by watching traffic on multi-lane highways, especially at night when all you really see is the lights. It’s amazing to watch the flow at 70+ miles an hour and see how smooth it looks as everyone moves along and changes lanes, etc. without crashing into one another.

    • Sometimes it kind of freaks me out. But being a cautious defensive driver is the point, so the officer’s scare tactics worked to that extent, at least on me. The teenager seated behind me looked like it was all torture and no benefit. LOL

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