Bitter

Khara’s new word of the day is “bitter.” But not in a bad way. LOL This was the best I could do:

broken heart

Bitter

It’s been almost twenty years
since my divorce was final.
The first few years were the worst,
struggling to get along
with three small boys
and no career
and what seemed like
no hope.

Oh, I hated my ex,
not comprehending that
I wasn’t hurting him
with my hate, only me.

How could he? Why would he?
What was he thinking?
How could we survive?
Where was he? Who was he with?
When would the next support check show up?

And years went by while
I wrestled (alone) in this
quagmire of painful remonstration,
of disappointment and longing
and anger and loss.

But in the meantime,
I built a life for me and the kids.
I had a job I loved. The kids had friends
and school and we all had fun together.
Slowly, step by step we went on
until one day I slowed down long enough
to realize something;
I no longer cared what the ex did.Heart
He was nothing in
my wonderful new life.

I felt like I was more “Me”
than I’d ever been, and somehow,
unknowingly,
had climbed out of that quagmire
and gone on without him.

And, oh, the blissful realization:
Life is good. Really really good.

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2 thoughts on “Bitter

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