Another Stretch

Okay, I want you to know, this is terrible. I am trying something new that is making my brain stretch, and it is all Quickly’s fault. The prompt is to write a diminishing poem, where words diminish each line and still kind of rhyme because the next line has a part of a whole, similar to this:

EMOTION/MOTION/OCEAN/SHUN

Anyway, mine, as I said, is terrible, but it is a learning process. So here it is in all it’s not-so-glory:

***

People

What makes some indifferent
and others so very different
some like knights-errant
who might help with your rent
and others who rave and rant?
I’d rather be the favorite aunt.

It takes a willingness to be courageous
despite people’s riches or ages
for virtue and bravery rages
throughout all of the ages
trying to get the best of us

Messages from our subconscious
try to speak to our conscience
and make the negativity shush
getting us be the best of us.

Our inner selves are not so terrible
One might say the land is arable
we are not made of rabble
because people are quite able
to tell truth and beauty from bull

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7 thoughts on “Another Stretch

  1. A brave effort. “we are not made of rabble” is an interesting concept you might want to hold on to in the rewrite.
    I found this one really hard, too. Got four gag-making attempts & still nothing as coherent as yours. Next attempt is going to be it (one way or another)
    One of those “seemed like a good idea at the time” prompts.

    • Well, if the idea is to stretch, you’ve certainly helped me to do that, and others too it seems. And there is another way of thinking in my lexicon now, which is always good. ^_^

  2. Wow…I applaud you…you put forth a great effort and while you might say it’s terrible it actually holds some great truth and I too, enjoy that rabble bit.

    I tried this and thought I was doing it right…I was not, no wonder it was so easy! 😉

    • It was really really hard. I love words, though, and playing with them was fun. But this “poem” did not flow very well, and the only part I really half-like is the last stanza. I will have to try this again. Maybe. LOL

      • I wish I had been doing it write…I feel bad planting my poem among those that actually did it right..maybe on fresh eyes…I agree, playing with words is great fun!! 🙂 I like that last stanza as well!

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