Self-Destruct

The prompt for day 5 is Self-Destruct.
I do not often get anxiety, and when I do it’s mild and fairly easily managed. However, I have many friends and family that are afflicted, and it is no picnic. Whatever you do, don’t try to “help” by telling them what works for you. Trust me, they are doing everything they can to stop panic attacks. Just love them, hold them if they need it. Be patient. Help the way THEY would like you to help, not the way you would want to be helped.

Pixabay - Public Domain

By Pixabay – public domain image

Anxiety

It starts small.
Increased heart-rate.
Strange flashes of color
or darkness
or vague emptiness.
Or nothing at all
and the panic is just there
compressing everything
the way a black hole does
morphing,
shrinking,
constricting,
squeezing,
crushing sanity
into a pinhole-sized
essence
of pure
fear.

As if that weren’t bad enough
the fear has no real cause
and there is nothing
at all
to
be
done
but
bear it.
S-o-m-e-h-o-w
get through
between positive
self-talk
and the echo of voices saying,
“Jeez, just get over it.”
and
“What is wrong with you?”
and
“You know, when I changed my diet…”
all useless
against this mindless
crushing
fear.

Eventually
breaths come easier
and the vice
gripping your heart
e-a-s-e-s,
all that is left
is exhaustion
and a hazy shame,
as if this was chosen.

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